The following dream contains several gay moments, product placement and of course, An Aesop.
This dream began in Morrisons in fast checkouts behind two people who had eaten an entire packet of something and couldn’t get the product to scan since half of it was gone or something. (BAR CODES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!) then after sorting out the dilemma by getting another packet (since they didn’t need to pay for the first one… Somehow.)
Ed and I went up and bought our things, since we’re apparently heterosexual life partners now. One of this things included Burger King burgers. (PRODUCT PLACEMENT) But we had to share a drink. (GAAAAAAAY!)
Now arguably the best bit of the dream, Ed and I went round to my ex’s house since graffiti had appeared on their driveway.
(HINT: IT WAS GHOST GRAFFITI ARTISTS!) So with Ed and I apparently being Mystery solvers, we went round to investigate and walked into this room where a giant woollen spider Smoo (Which wouldn’t have looked too out of place from Coraline) descended from the ceiling and attacked us. So naturally, we fought back. After I managed to shank it a few times, we realised that it’s elemental weakness was fire (I mean WOOL gave that away) so Ed produced a can of deodorant and a lighter and made a makeshift flame-thrower (Metal Gear reference) whilst I continued stabbing Wool-Spider-Smoo in the face but not before he taunted me “Where’s that Woolley smile? Ah, there it is!” As a slasher smile grew on my own face. (GAAAAAAAY!)
Then someone knocked on the door. So Ed and I removed our battle music headphones (Apparently we supplied our own battle music but had it on low enough volume so we could hear the knocking at the door, in case we decided to masturbate) and answered the door, we were told to go outside to look at the graffiti, so as we ran outside throwing the now-decapitated-wool-spider-Smoo head side. The dream cuts to someone recalling the dangers of smoking and then to curiously the end of a South Park episode, not as in an episode on TV but literally Cartman standing around delivering a “I learned something today” speech.
Then everyone laughed and I woke up.